My Coach James Baye is Dead

James Baye died June 4:th. He fell off a cliff in Joshua Tree National Park, California. He was my coach for three wonderful, transformative years. My last week has been a journey into Life and Death, Pain and Gratefulness.

He changed my whole way of being and made me challenge my shadows and fears and explore and evolve my edges and depths. He was the person who knew more about me than any one else. He saw right through me, no where to hide. In the beginning that was so awfully scary, in the end so liberating and nurturing.

I owe so much to him, so tremendously much. Without his encouragement — no Big Heart of Humanity, no journey …

I knew before that he was an extraordinary man, but when I read www.rememberingjamesbaye.com I understand how very extraordinary he was. I’m so immensely thankful that I got those years with him. We made two eight months intense integral coaching programs over skype and the last year we connected now and then for a check-up-and-next-step-session, the last time in May. And he was always there when I needed him. It’s very, very empty now …

Today I switched on the TV and saw a part of a documentary. The camera zoomed in on a black board on the wall in the home of the person talking. On the board was a few words and two circles. Yes, that was what he did! With his précis tailored practices and questions he made me move out of my comfort zone, into contact with that magic place …

I’m sitting on the beach in Cape Town with the big waves rolling in and the sun in my face writing this. Looking back on a journey with so much beauty and magic. Knowing that I now have to find that magic space on my own.

I’m missing your support, your crazy ideas, your challenges and your open, warm heart!

James, you were and will always be a bright light in my life and in Big Heart of Humanity,
Thank You for Nothing and Everything!

The last of April James wrote this to me, in response to one of my many emails:

“Life will always get hurt
no matter what we do
no matter how much we love.”

All photos from Holma, Höör, Sweden, May 31 2010, in the evening on my 51st birthday.

8 Responses to My Coach James Baye is Dead

  1. Svinna June 14, 2012 at 18:47 #

    Jag är inte så bra att hitta rätt uttryck på engelska, så det får bli svenska. Vill egentligen bara skicka en stor mänsklig kram till dig. Förstår att det är en väldigt betydelsefull person du nu smärtsamt saknar.
    Jag brukar i sådana här lägen tänka, att så länge någon har en avliden person och hans/hennes gärningar kvar i minnet, i sina tankar, i sina handlingar och sist och mest i sitt hjärta, finns på något sätt den döda ändå kvar och verkar alltjämt. Det ger mig lite tröst när det är som svårast. På din beskrivning låter det verkligen som om den här mannen kommer att fortsätta att finnas genom dig.

    Många tankar och som sagt, mänskliga kramar till dig.

  2. Christina Nordberg June 14, 2012 at 20:01 #

    Hälsningar – greetings from us to you! So very well expressed – your feelings and
    your sorrow.
    kramar!

  3. Peter Fowelin June 14, 2012 at 21:37 #

    Varm kram från mig också.

  4. Stina Deurell June 15, 2012 at 08:07 #

    Thank you! Tack så mycket!
    Stor kram till er alla, det är tur att jag har så många underbara vänner.
    Stina

  5. annica June 15, 2012 at 17:42 #

    Han skulle kunnat gjort så mycket mer om hans liv inte fått ett abrupt slut i förtid. Han har berört dig, och säker många andra på ett djupt och positivt livsförändrande sätt – så visst måste han ha varit en extraordinär man. Tur för dig att du hittade honom!

  6. Åse Alexanderson June 18, 2012 at 21:42 #

    Å, Stina ! Så svårt! Det är hemskt när vänner lämnar en. Men den som leder en framåt, den som ser till att man inte bara stirrar på sin egen sfär. Den som har hand om ens mentala och andliga mognad…vilket hål i tillvaron att mista honom!
    Stina! Tänker, känner med dej, i stora hjärtat!
    Åse

  7. ken June 22, 2012 at 01:34 #

    He was an amazing man and had a real impact from the one workshop in which he guided us.

    let us keep our hearts open and feel into this loss. there is bliss and grace.

  8. Stina Deurell June 22, 2012 at 07:42 #

    Hi Ken,
    Thank you for your comment. Good feeling to have someone here that also knew James. And yes there is a lot of “bliss and grace”.
    Big Heart, Stina

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes